Hollow, I feel hollow
Not empty but cored out
Why can’t I find the faith in others
Much less the faith in myself
I want more then what I have,
I want more then what I will get
Time to turn another corner
Time to turn a new bend
My life has gone a the wrong direction
I’ve lost the grip I hoped to have
To something new I look for now,
Something of self I hope to have
Hollowness has become me,
And embrace it I cannot
I will find a new filling
To become what I have lost
The writing is in my heart
but not always in my hand
the words are in my head
but rarely let loose to flow
when things get out of control
I retreat and leave it behind
but where does one go
when you need to unload?
There are so many things
that happen in this life,
so many thoughts are created
by the life one left behind.
I have yet to live in a way
that befits my soul
and yet when it comes down
to a life that I could leave,
I find no where to go.
There is a time and a place for everything,
a pebble of possibilities to roll
on a mountain top they sit,
but in an avalanche that can’t let go.
Sometimes I have a hard time telling the truth. Actually I think it’s more of a problem saying it. For four very long years I hardly ever told the truth. It was the only way to keep peace in our house. I think the biggest lie I ever told was “I love you.” I did, but not in the way he wanted me to. The rest of it was little lies, shadings of the truth if you will. “Yes, of course I’m happy with you, yes we have a good marriage” kind of lies. Continue reading “To Tell The Truth”
