TheGothMom.com

Another fun-filled day of my ass going numb trying to keep up with the hordes of people who can’t log onto a damn computer. I get to the point where I just stand there for an hour or so because I lost the feeling in my butt cheeks. I can actually deal with the numbness better then when my cheeks go to sleep. There is nothing worse than sitting there for over an hour and you suddenly shift and the pins and needles start up and quickly spread. It’s not like your foot falling asleep either cause when that happens, you can wiggle the foot and rub the circulation back in. What am I supposed to do when it happens to my ass cheeks?

“Um, do you mind waiting while I jump up and down and rub my ass for a minute?”

Yeah, my boss would soooo love that!

I would bitch more, but I’ve been assured by a male friend that it doesn’t come close to the feeling when his balls fall asleep. Seriously, did I need to know that? Although I can understand how the bits that swing would be pretty aggravating when the swinging motion sets off the pins and needles. I wonder if that happens to large breasted women when they have serious sagginess and go braless. Do the tips fall asleep?

I had an episode of - insert foot in mouth and swallow - today. We have a coffee stand and although I don’t really care for the coffee itself, she makes killer Cocoa, and the sugar rush gives me a good surge to stave off the trauma of the daily stampede. So I went over this morning to get my cuppa, and she had accidentally dropped one of those thingy’s that puts the price tags on stuff. It had landed on this guy’s foot and tagged him as being $5. So he’s cracking jokes about how she at least put a good price on him, and he wasn’t cheap. Since I have no connection between my mouth and brain, I immediately popped off with “Yeah, but are you easy?” My mortification was complete when the guy, who wasn’t at all bad looking, turned and asked if I wanted to find out. I choked on my whipped creme, had a coughing fit, and turned purple while everyone cheered. ~Sigh~ The story about the guy who actually embarrassed me is going to keep people going for a very long time.

And since you all are so enjoying my lovely pictures

Well, it’s been a fun filled week of juggling 10 phone lines at a time, 5 people standing in front of me waiting, and the occasional bitch or asshole looking to make my day as shitty as their attitude. Hasn’t worked yet, I just use them as my material for jokes the rest of the day :). Terrible I know, but that’s how it goes in cussed-tomer service.

The first week of any semester is hell, but when you’re bringing new systems on board that throw everything off, it just makes it that much more entertaining to try and frustrate everyone who wants to be involved. I’ve managed to get to the point where I can sit there and recite how to log-in what that log-in is for, and the pertinent things to remember without breaking my stride between phone calls and people. And it’s always nice to be doing my speel on the phone, and have the person in front of me light up and say “That’s how you do it!” and take off out the door to take care of it themselves. I really, really, really like those people.

Sometimes I miss not being out there running around and working on everyone’s computer, but at the same time, I’m getting a really strong sense of satisfaction in proving I can whether the front lines and come out on top. Plus, I get to see what everyone sets as their security question and answer which is fuel for hours of hilarity.

A few of the best -

Q: What is my favorite number and the year I was born? A: House

Q: What is 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy? A: money

Q: Who did I doggy last night? A: This is a different answer every time she calls in to get her password reset :-S.

I wish I could tell you I was making these up, but honest to god, these are real questions. People don’t realize that others have access to this information, even when we use their security question to verify it’s really them. At worst, I’ve gotten a few moments of silence, before they rush on with their questions, and the best is the doggy girl who always laughs and says “Oh, I’m never going to get that right.” Uh, excuse me, but ewwww?

Yummmmmm. Someone brought in her home made cookies, and my god that woman can make the best cookies, cake, snacks, truffles, you name it, she has a special recipe. So today, I had cookies for lunch, for dinner, and yes, absolutely for breakfast. Nothing is better then a chocolate and pecan burst to set you on your way. And I probably should’ve apologized to all the people who came in and witnessed me with a cookie hanging out of my mouth while I talked to them or the people on the phone, but some things are just to good to give up.

On to shop for lunch tomorrow as the older kids are (finally!) going back to school, do a little blog reading, take a shower, and roll into the beauty of slumber.

The above is pretty much how my week has gone. The week before the semester starts is always full of ridiculous idiots who can’t put their own shoes on without a pictograph explaining the steps. I have literally spent hours telling people how to log into the computers in a such a repetitive format that I wake to find myself muttering “Your log in is your first dot last name. No, you don’t type first, you type your first name. NO! you don’t type in your first name, you type in what your first name is! Do you know what your first name is? Do you know how to spell it? Then that’s what you type! AGHHHHH!”

Each day has been filled with so much idiocy, that I have been stumbling home everyday, wanting nothing more then to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and wish the world away. Punctuated by brief points of hilarity where I lose my mind and scream with laughter behind a closed door before I manage to recover and stumble my way back behind my desk to greet the next nonsensical user. The bad thing is - I know I’m getting the worst of the worst, people with half a brain can read the instructions and figure it out themselves. And there’s the people who just don’t have a clue, need a little help finding one, and then are happily on their way. But the plain and simple fact is that 90% of the people who call or come in, are the bottom of the scum sucking, shit for brains, idiotic, prehistoric trilobites. The sad thing is that most of these people form my opinion of the student body, and I feel bad pegging them into the “Special needs” hole. Not bad enough though to keep from pounding my head into the wall every chance I get. Which is probably one of the reasons I’ve had such a headache this week.

I’m so far on my regular blog reading, it’s going to take me all of this week to catch up, and then ya’ll will have a whole new batch up. I’ll be around to see what ya’ll have been up to though so expect to see my sunshiney self popping back up in comments.

For a brief moment of hilarity - My oldest daughter and I were driving back to the college after taking a break at home for lunch (I escape every chance I get right now). As we drove by this one house, she starts squealing like crazy, made me jump a foot and almost rear end somebody. “What is up your butt!” I yelled, thinking I had just missed hitting a squirrel or some other cute furry critter. She’s a really bad side seat driver when there’s critters on the road so no matter how hard I’m trying to avoid them, I’ve almost hit a few, jerking in response to her freaking out. Anyway, she tells me “There was an old fat lady in her yard, wearing nothing but her shirt and she bent over and I saw FAT OLD LADY BUTT AND BUSH! I am now permanently scarred for life with that nasty image stuck in my head!”

I laughed (and cried) the whole ten minute drive back to the college.

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And last but most certainly not least - To all of you out there working this week……

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