I seem to run into this question a lot. Enough that I finally decided I needed to address it. In my own fashion of course, so most will probably disagree, but hey, that’s half the fun. Especially as no one has ever agreed on how Goth is defined, every Goth site has their own idea of what creates a true Goth, and we all disagree with everyone else on it ~grin~. The only thing that is agreed on is that Goth was originally a sub-culture of Punk, and has evolved over time into its own space. Two of the only sub-cultures of any kind that can usually mingle without repercussions.
So now, as to my own interpretation, and then a few basic questions answered. Be prepared for a long read, this isn’t simple stuff to spit out.
Being Goth doesn’t mean that just because you’re different, you are insular from everything else. My personal opinion of Goth is that because you are different, you can embrace things more whole heartedly then other groups. You look for the different, the strange, the bizarre, because there is a driving force to find all the things that make life interesting. You are dark, not because you worship the dark, but because you can embrace it’s totality in being a part of life. Light and dark are equal forces, and the majority of people stand on one side, afraid to look into the abyss and discover what is there. In Goth, there is no fear of that abyss, it’s an integral part of the forces that drive us all and keep us spinning in a universe of mysteries.
There is a saying, “Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell, Spirituality is for people who have already been there.” Which we’ll come back to in a moment.
There can be many things that build your character, mold you into a personality, define you’re being, but in saying that, people forget the biggest factor in creating the above – sense of self. Being brought up in the most normal of fashions, being brought up in the most bizarre of fashions, neither of these is a gateway to being Goth, rather it’s that sense of self that brings out the true person, and becoming a Goth is an expression of that. I firmly believe that the true Goths are born with a sense of religion and spirituality, and the need to question both on a path to finding their place in this world. Rather then accepting what they’re told they should believe, they strike out on a path to discover what they believe. More driven then most to find the meaning of life, a sense of what it’s all about, and what the hell have we been brought into this existence for.
Which brings back to the saying above. Again, based on my own personal belief. I think that some of us are born questioning the universe, and trying to find out how and where we fit into it. Not based on how or who raised us, we have this sense of things lacking, an integral part missing that doesn’t fit into what we’re spoon fed. More inclined to question, to push the boundaries, to discover the forbidden, we want to know more then people are willing to give. This missing piece drives us to explore more of what is out there, the concepts of life that argued and fought over more then anything else in history. Being told that “This is how it is.” does nothing more then create frustration at the close-minded herd mentality that refuses to look for more.
So why would someone turn to Goth after being raised in a seemingly normal family, loving parents, the permission to find themselves? It’s something internal that didn’t fit into the mold, that didn’t allow them to find what they needed to feel complete. You can call it rebellion all you want, but the simple fact is a child comfortable with what they are, won’t turn to something that scares the hell out of a lot of people just to get a kick out of it. Sure, they may go through a phase of wearing black and trying to be creepy to get attention, but a true Goth doesn’t come out of that phase as they discover that the distance put between them and others, gives them that opportunity to reach out more in personal discovery.
The religion and spirituality twist is that these people have a closer connection to both in that they are able to look beyond the normal. Goths have a natural conception of spirituality in the sense that they are able to look beyond what is, into the fog of what could be. Accept it, embrace it, and turn back to the more driving questions that infect them. It changes the conception of what one looks for in religion, and opens doors to experiencing more on a different level.
I’m making Goth sound somewhat like a religion in and of itself, which is certainly not my intention. What I’m trying to say is that the majority of Goths are the most open-minded, accepting people you will find. Curious of what makes people tick, they will frequently be the ones you can open up to and be absolutely honest with, because they will actually listen, analyze, and digest what you say for further thought. If they find you interesting that is. If not, you’ll find out fast as they don’t feel the urge to waste time on triviality. Some may make you feel like a bug under a microscope as they go out of their way to delve into what you are bringing to their attention. Even if they are just watching, not commenting, don’t take it as a lack of interest, more that they are absorbing the information as something to take out later and examine. Constantly questioning, wanting to know more, if a Goth finds you interesting, it’s because they absolutely believe you have something of interest to share. The universe is a fascinating concept, filled with a complete lack of constancy, and with no end to the questions that can be explored, ideas to grasp, a Goth is determined to know as much as is possible.
As a group, Goths are more socially accepting to outcasts. Having felt the sting of rejection from main-streamers, they don’t reject the people who don’t fit in other groups. Individually more introverted, on the whole, they are welcoming to others, giving freely, without condemnation, and the people that you can turn to in true need. Don’t expect acceptance to be immediate though. Cautious and wary are traits that are learned very quickly from the times they reached out to others and were slapped back. They are used to rejection based on nothing more then the clothing the wear, and the majority of Goths are very sensitive people with long memories. Frequently artistic, soulful, you can expect more emotion as they don’t hold it back like most people. Through writing, music, art, what they feel shows in every aspect. If you’re with a Goth, then you know you can expect honesty in everything as they don’t feel they need to find socially accepted ways to express themselves.
Goths are also more experimental. Going back to be open-minded, they want to experience life as a whole, not in pieces. Have a new experience to try? Call a Goth. More likely then not, they will jump at the chance to do something new and foreign. Little shyness is involved when they can learn something new, have a new story to tell, have the chance to experience something that could possibly open new avenues. Open to many things, people are frequently shocked by what they perceived as fool hardy, dangerous or disgusting.
I can’t believe how incredibly hard this was to write. Knowing something, and defining it yourself can be incredibly hard to articulate in a way that can hopefully come across as readable to others. What I’ve written is based on both myself and other Goths I’ve spent time with in my life, and while I could go on in much further depth, I’m going to stop here and try to put out a few of fires I’ve come across.
Why is black the most popular color for Goths to wear? This is actually a fairly easy question to answer, and rather surprising in its simplicity. Depending on how you look at it, black is either the absence of all color or the combination of all. Making it neutral color.
Are Goths devil worshipers? You have no idea how hilarious this question is. Especially if you have read all of the above, and are still wondering. I have met some very devout Christian Goths, Wiccan, Pagan, Buddhist, Atheist, and Agnostic. Just like most other groups, they run the gamut through the religions, and realistically, if you’re looking for devil worshippers, you can find them in every culture, group, or religion across the world. It’s no more confined to people wearing black then Catholicism is to white people.
Aren’t Goths just trying to get attention by dressing/acting that way? A common misconception about Goths is that they are just seeking attention. We already know we can get your attention, haven’t you seen what happens when we walk down the street? People are so fascinated by Goths, they stare and whisper as one walks by, tell their kids to stay away, push Christian pamphlets in our faces in the effort to save us. We dress this way because we want to, but here’s a little gem that may surprise you. The majority of Goths are very shy, introverted people. Dressing this way, the makeup etc, is a way of keeping you from getting to close. You’re so put off by how we look, we don’t have to make the effort to pretend we’re any more comfortable with you then you are with us. We already know that the people who don’t really care what we look like are the ones we’d rather hang out with anyway. And if you’re standing there whispering, pointing or doing something equally obnoxious, we will go out of our way to shock you just because we can. We’d rather you averted your eyes and moved on anyway. Same if you stop and ask us stupid questions, we’ll probably say something obnoxious just so you won’t do it again. Everyone has a mask they wear, this is ours. And if people were more accepting of it in the first place, it wouldn’t be any different then what you wear everyday.
What’s with the piercings, tattoos, and jewelry? Did you read everything above this?
Aren’t Goths are all just anti-social drug users anyway? Very few Goths are regular drug users. Yeah, there’s a few bad apples, but those come from every walk of life. Quite a few will experiment with drugs, it’s another experience, and the question is why are people into them anyway? For the most part, Goths aren’t into being all fucked up on substances, they’re more inclined to find other ways of getting off on life. A lot of us drink, me included, but you will find an equal number of complete teetotalers. And no, we aren’t anti-social, we just don’t like you. LOL, sorry that just slipped in. In all seriousness, we come off to people as anti-social because we would rather hang out with like-minded individuals, not people who are judgmental. If you are one of those, then yes, we are anti-social. Towards you at least.
If Goths are so smart, why don’t we see them more in the public eye (politicians, lawyers, etc.)? A study was done in 2006 showing that the majority of Goths grow up to be regular middle class folks, just with a twist. They hold down well-paying jobs in fields such as Law, Banking, Journalism, Programming. We’re talking bright people with vast futures, fully capable of becoming driving forces. If they want to, that is. Most Goths aren’t going to put themselves into a situation they aren’t comfortable with which includes being out in the public eye. And how they look at work is probably different from the way they dress at home or when out on the town as well. You could very well work with a Goth, and never even know it.
What about the music? I thought that’s how Goth started? It is and it continues to be a force to be reckoned with. There are sub-cultures within the sub-culture itself, and music can be one of those dividing forces. You have the multiple kinds of music from Metal to Techno, and many Goths divide themselves into the arena they feel fits them best. Some Goths stick with the older Goth music such as Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, others go into bands that are heavily electronica. Which I don’t know about so try googleing it. Myself, I lean towards bands such as Within Temptation, Lullacry, Lacuna Coil, Dark Princess.
Aren’t Goths members of some cult group? Oh. Bitch. Please. Every time there is some one involved in any kind of shooting, killing, and they wear dark clothes or trench coats, they’re automatically pegged as Goth. Not only Goth, but it usually ties into some kind of cult or dark following, Satanists, or some other hogwash. Face it, if it doesn’t have enough of an impact in the news, they can and will add facets to it to make it spicier. Sometimes they don’t exactly say that so and so was actually in a cult, they just add in something along the lines of “It hasn’t been proven yet that this person was a member of a cult, but it is being investigated.” Don’t you think if we were all a member of some dark satanic cult, it would get a little more attention?
I thought all Goths were depressed or into that whole Emo thing. Nope. I do get depressed occasionally just like every other person out there. So it goes for every other Goth on the planet. Emo’s on the other hand are just whiny. Whiny, self-indulgent, depressing, and very full of themselves. Luckily, everyone that I’ve known so far that called themselves Emo, grew out of it when confronted with real life. I’m still waiting on a couple of kids I know though.
Once again, all of this is my own interpretation of Goth, and I’ve read some people out there with their own interpretation that I laud just as much as my own. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Here is mine, abuse it as you will.
